Tired.

Today I made up my mind to focus on “big” things.  Revolutions in Africa, poverty in America, tyrranny and oppression in the Middle East.  As I tried to bend my stubborn mind away from the everday distractions I fritter my day away with, there was a part of me that thought in the oximoronical way that only our subconscious can think, “if I truly did start caring this much about big things and not impressing girls, than girls would probably be more into me”.  I thought it and hung my head in shame, laughing morosely.

It is hard to have unadulturated, pure passion in this world.   Our image culture tells us that standing for this cause or wearing that movement’s t-shirt will make us cool to our friends.  Our cynical culture tells us that when we do things for others there is no such thing as selflessness.  I’ll help a charity if it makes others notice me, or at least makes me more like so-and-so that I idolize and aspire to be.  Doesn’t this get tiring?  Are you as sick of it as I am?  (not sure who I’m writing these questions to, the silent void of the unattentive internet I suppose.)

I want to stand and care.  I want to leave those actions and emotions at that.  I believe that is enough for me and it is enough for us.  I don’t need girls to like me, I need one girl to love me someday.  I don’t need people to think I’m cool or hip or trendy or even likeable.  I’d rather feel deep, caring passion for/from a few than gain the inch-deep, minute-long attention of the world.

Is there any meaning in our Andy Warhol promised, “fifteen minutes of fame”?  I want to believe that if someone offered me that moment or a moment that I truly made a difference in a person’s life that I would choose the latter.  But I think it’s fair to say if I was confident I would make the right decision there I would not be writing this letter now.

We live for others’ approval.  We live for distractions.  But who is focused on something greater?  Do we even know a cause worth standing for?  Or only if one of our hip friends posts a picture of a cause do we momentarily look up from admiring him/her to see what the hell they are even talking about.

I want more.  Or maybe I just want to want more.  How different would the world be if instead of “awareness” campaigns that are too often an excuse to impress your friends, people started rolling up their sleeves and got to work helping the cause that most calls out to their heart, not their instagram followers. 

What if we logged off our social media, took some time to discover what we are most passionate about away from the distractions and attractions of the world, and found a way to aid that cause or move it forward.  Let’s say we’re tired of living for the approval of others.  I’m tired of it.  Aren't you?